[Ram]
Heyyy, 'ronica

[Veronica]
Eww
You got a left hand: Use it

[Kurt]
Don't talk mean like that

[Ram]
You'll hurt their feelings
You make my balls so blue

[Kurt]
You hurt them badly

[Ram]
You make my balls so blue

[Kurt]
They're hangin' sadly

[Ram]
What did they do to you
That you hate them so?

[Kurt]
Don't run from me
They're all beat up

[Kurt & ram]
Like a tackling dummy!

[Kurt]
They long for your embrace!

[Ram]
They're warm like mittens!

[Kurt]
They'll curl up on your face

[Ram]
And purr like kittens!

[Kurt]
You make my balls so blue!

[Kurt & Ram]
Just look at them glow

[Ram]
They're beggin' you!

[Kurt & Ram]
Don't make my balls so blue

[Veronica]
Heather? Heather? Open the door

[Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
Oh no, oh no no no!

[Veronica]
Open the door!

[Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
Oh no, oh no no no!

[Kurt]
You make my balls so blue
So please say hello!

[Ram]
Hold 'em!

[Kurt]
Enfold 'em

[Kurt & Ram]
And never let go!

[Kurt]
Once you were geeky and nerdy

[Ram]
But they knew you're dirty

[Kurt]
You've set them on fire

[Kurt & Ram]
Whatever you require they'll do!
So take 'em home to meet your parents!

[Ram]
They'll wear a suit and tie

[Kurt, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
And a fancy collar!

[Ram]
They'll sing a lullaby

[Kurt & Ram]
La la la la la!

[Kurt, Ram, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
Please make these balls not blue

[Ram]
Just for a while!

[Kurt]
Can't wait till later

[Kurt & Ram]
My pants are rubbin'

[Kurt, Ram, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
Like a hot cheese grater!

[Veronica]
Look! Booze, drink!

[Kurt]
Thank you so much!

[Ram]
They will protect you

[Kurt]
Defend you

[Ram]
Respect you

[Kurt]
Befriend you

[Ram]
Like winnie-the-pooh!

[Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
Winnie-the-pooh!

[Kurt]
Baby, baby, baby, they're so blue!

[Ram]
My balls will work for you

[Kurt, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
They will obey ya!

[Ram]
They really need rescue!

[Kurt, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
Like princess leia!

[Kurt & Ram]
Baby, you've gots to come through

[Kurt]
Teach them to smile!

[Ram, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
You got no clue how much
These two

[Ram, Kurt, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
Depend on you
Please help them through!
My balls are in your court!

[Kurt & Ram]
Yeah!

[Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
You make them balls so blue!

[Kurt & Ram]
You make my balls so blue!

[Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
You make them balls so blue!

[Kurt & Ram]
Ow! Ow!

[Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
You make them balls so blue!

[Kurt & Ram]
You make my balls so blue!

[Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
You make my balls so blue!
You shake them
You quake them

[Kurt & Ram]
Good God!

[Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
You break

[Kurt & Ram]
My balls!
You make my balls so blue!

[Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
You make my balls so blue!
You take them

[Kurt & Ram]
Lookit! Lookit!
Lookit! Lookit!

[Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
You bake them
Chrissake

[Kurt, Ram, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara]
You make my balls so blue!
Please make their dreams come true
And make these balls not blue!